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Is Horse Semen the New Milkshake?

Shots of horse semen will be available at the Hokitika Wildfoods Festival in New Zealand next month and will allegedly taste like yummy milkshake.

Yup, that’s right. Adding to Hokitika Wildfoods’ infamous assortment of culinary delights – which range from ram’s testicles, fried scorpions, pig gut kebabs with fresh eel slime sauce and wasp larvae ice-cream – this year the foodie fest will be serving horse jizz.

The horse semen shot will apparently make the brave few who knock one back feel like stallions themselves. There’s even a possibility that drinkers will be able to choose their own “donor” horse.

Racehorse owner Lindsay Kerslake said: “Horses are pure testosterone. They have hardly any cholesterol, so the idea is you knock it back and feel like a stallion yourself.”

At NZ$10 a pop, the shots will come (snigger) au naturel or in scrumptious cherry, licorice and banoffee pie flavours.

“You often hear from a female perspective that semen has an awful alkaline taste, so we thought we'd better make it more user-friendly. Think of it like a milkshake,” said Mr Kerslake.

For those concerned about the health implications of guzzling animal spunk, Kerslake had these words of comfort: “It's all safe – we're getting the semen in the same way breeders do, using an artificial vagina and storing it in the formula they use.”

Well, phew! That’s put our mind at rest then.

Wildfoods spokeswoman Megan Wilson said the horse semen shots would definitely be “for the brave”.

“But I don't think it's that disgusting,” she continued. “We never think anything is disgusting.”

Hokitika Wildfoods Festival rightly claims to be the most “outrageous food experience” in New Zealand.